Have trouble saying “No?” Here’s a great guest post by career coach Karen Keller. This is the first part of a two part series. The second will appear on Monday.

Moms live in a world of constant “siren calling.” Everyone asks them to do everything and anything. Potlucks, volunteering, chauffeuring kids … juggling work and family, organizing family events, etc.

Yet most women tend to think saying “No”  is rude, insensitive and selfish.

Get over it! Saying no is honest, thoughtful and self-caring. Can we really say no and be okay? Heck, yes!

Can you say no? Before you read the rest of Karen’s post, see how the MomstoWork.com’s crowd say no …

It’s all about choosing the right terms and conditions.

Mary Poppins does this especially well.

Mr. Banks: Will you be good enough to explain all this?
Mary Poppins: First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.
Mr. Banks: Yes?
Mary Poppins: I never explain anything.
[exits]

When we say “yes” to every outer demand,  we stress. When we feel guilt, we depress.

Borrow some inspiration and courage from Mary.

Here are five of 10 strategies (come back for the next lot on Monday 21 December for the rest) you can use to bring yourself closer to this ideal.

1. Say what? Next time you get a request that immediately gives you a twinge of chest or gut pain: listen. Repeat the request out loud. If it feels painful, it will be.
2. Time it! Underestimating the time of a commitment is an easy trap to fall into. Don’t do it. Care giving to A means effort away from B. Saying yes today without proper scheduling, may mean a ball and chain tomorrow.
3. Get selfish. Your energy, attention, and talents are valuable. Weigh WIIFM: What’s In It For Me? Problem, challenge or opportunity? Without a purpose, the reason why to say yes will perish.
4. Say it with your body. Head up; eye contact direct is the power stance. “I will show that I am strong and definitely in control of making up my own mind in my own time.”  Body language is power.
5. Love yourself unconditionally. Women are “brainwashed” to want approval and what better way to get it than saying yes, yes, yes?
   Sure, it’s been easier to say yes than no— until now. Self-love does not mean paying the price to keep the peace …  it’s giving yourself permission to say no. And don’t you dare have any other opinion than that!

Next week I’ll introduce you to the remaining five terms and conditions you can use to say no and mean it.

Stay tuned for Part two.

About the Author: Karen Keller, Ph. D. is the Influence It! Life Coach and creator of Real Power For Women Who Want It. Her first book, with Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, and Denis Waitley comes out 2010.

Follow Karen on Twitter @KarenKeller or on Facebook.com/karenkeller