I hate you, Valentine’s Day
A year on … I still hate it …
I hate hate hate Valentine’s Day.
I don’t mind flowers from my husband, but I prefer them when they are not preordained by convention. I’d rather have a bunch of flowers than a store-bought card with his name scribbled below.
But what I can’t abide is the institutionalization of this giant fake love-in among young children.
Today I flamed my kids’ school list-serv by suggesting that they should skip the exchanging of Valentine Day’s cards this year.
The parties have already been killed thanks to Snowmaggedon, as President Obama called the East Coast blizzard. It takes not a village, but rather a record-breaking snowstorm to cause a downgrading of a class festivity that has no value except to generate profits for Hallmark.
They should skip Valentine’s Day celebrations because:
1. It is a waste of their time and mine. I can hear you mothers of girls crying out right now: “My daughter loves making craft and cutting out the cards.” Yes, true. You have girls. I have boys. If your child received a card last year from one of my twin boys, it was from me. I LOVE your child, and I want to be his or her best friend. Really. Now that’s something that should put you off. And to you parents who sent cards to my boys, I love you too.
2. It teaches all sorts of weird lessons. Love is great, love is good and love is fine and dandy among adults and family, but why cheapen the emotion with these fake expressions of love for every single child in the class?
As one mother responded today, if we insist on doing Valentine Day Cards, why not encourage a sincere expression of love? Suggest that children write a letter to someone they really do love. I am all for that.
3. It is cute. Exactly. What is it about you people and your
“cute”? Get over it. Love is not a Hallmark Card with a saccharine, canned message.
The best expressions of love are the ones that happen in the midst of the rough and tumble of life. When your husband tells you he loves you after you’ve cleaned up baby puke for the 10th time that night, or when your son brings you a heart he’s made without any prompting.
Or today, when one of my boys protected me from a snowball, telling his friend “My mom has a sore shoulder. Don’t hit her.” Or tonight, when my kids vied with their friends to tell me how good my cooking was. I was the “best cook in the world,” it was the “best spaghetti and meatballs ever ” and “much better than restaurants.”
That was my Valentine’s Day 2010 gift.
P.S. If you’re not convinced by my arguments, please cut out the Pokemon Valentine’s Day card and send it to me. Then I’ll know you care.
About the author: Julie Power is a cranky old mother.
Source: Pokemon card from http://www.dltk-kids.com/pokemon/mvpokemon.html
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Filed Under: Featured
About the Author: Julie Power is a writer and editor with experience in both the United States and Australia. After living in the United States for 16 years, she recently returned to live in Sydney with her husband and twin boys (9 years old).
Follow @juliepower
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I could not agree more. This year, my husband lovingly asked “What do you want for Valentines day?” I replied “A break.” There goes my gift. Should be interesting to see what my kids (a nearly two-year-old and newborn) cook up, or should I say, will require me to clean up.
.-= Renee´s last blog ..I hate you, Valentine’s Day =-.
I agree. When I met my husband, I stopped celebrating valentine’s day. I decided every day is, or should be, valentine’s day. Every woman (and man) should be treated that way. Aren’t we supposed to be nice and show love to our loved ones every day? Maybe do something extra special on birthdays maybe? Never understood the holiday really… I don’t see why kids need to make cards for everyone in their class.
Mort de rire!!! This is hilarious, Julie, and TRUE!!!! I especially love the bit about expresssions of love amidst the rough and tumble of life. ENOUGH already, with the glossing over….Definitely going to pass this on to my friends.
THANK YOU!
peg!
Thank you Elissa. Now that’s the sort of real sentiment you don’t find on a Hallmark card. Thanks for your comment and feedback. I wish you all the love in the world, every day of the year. Julie
Valentine’s day has roots back to the 18th century, it has been an American school time tradition at least in my lifetime. I guess we should cease this because your sons don’t care for the holiday?
If you find it so objectionable you could request that your children be excused. Better yet ask your kids if they would like to sit out in the hallway during the next Valentines day party to prove your principles.
It’s a fun holiday, to assume that parents are sending expressions of love to another child is just a weird stretch. I don’t understand why some adults try to suck all the fun out of a holiday in an attempt to show how intelligent and “above” they are about the rest of us poor common masses.
Send yourself your own ridiculous valentine. Seriously.
Though I agree with most of what you said about the forced celebration of Valentine’s Day, I do not agree that it is not worth the effort of reaching out to family/friends to wish them love and happiness (whatever that may take…Chocolate kisses, for me) on any day.
If you want to be bitter and angry about receiving cards that say “I love you,” I feel sorry for you and your children. What kind of message are you sending others implying that just because it is Valentine’s Day it doesn’t mean anything.
My family doesn’t like to overdue religious holidays, and so the “Hallmark” holidays give us the perfect opportunity to send out family cards (as they don’t make many affordable “Happy Spring” cards, but they do make very affordable “Happy Valentine’s Day” cards.
The list-serve you are referring to leads me to believe that we all had too much time on our hands, cooped up in our homes, and we forgot to look at the fact that the time thinking about or making cards was supposed to be fun for you and your children. If you don’t like, don’t do it, but PLEASE don’t take the fun out of it for those of us who cherish the opportunity to reach out to others, whether or not it is hokey.
Thanks Laurel and Mary for your comments. We embrace all views here at MomstoWork.
You do realize that some of my comments were tongue in cheek right? I was laughing at the gender divisions and the seriousness with which some people take their card making.
All the moms with girls say their kids love the holiday. Boys do up to a point. But once they get to about seven or eight, they show no interest. That isn’t to say that boys are incapable of being emotional, loving and mushy. As I write, I am looking at a bunch of home made hearts and cards from my boys to me. They are precious. I will keep them.
BTW, I am quite ready to own to up to cultural differences being at play. I am from Australia, which has never embraced Valentine’s Day in the same way. It is a holiday for adults.
[...] me sad. He was so funny. I am jealous. It made my own attack, I hate Valentine’s Day, look [...]