So it’s “enlightened” to expect women to work outside the home? Okay, well since we don’t allow any gender differences, then of course it must be equally “enlightened” to expect men to work outside the home, right? Actually, when anyone asserts that a man should work outside the home rather than stay at home, they’re criticized for being “unenlightened.”

Is it still acceptable to use the words “men” and “women” anymore, or is that another one of those “cultural norms” we have to get rid of? I guess it’s just “persons” from now on?

“the notion that most women should stay at at home isn’t completely gone.”

Really? Imagine that! How unenlightened. Well what do you think we should about such a terrible thing? I mean the idea that there are some persons who think women should stay at home is something that has to be destroyed. Can we put such believers in jail? Fine them? Put them in mental hospitals-because they’re obviously all demented.

Now I’m fine with it. And in our spirit of appropriate balance, I am always the one pumping the gas while she’s at the wheel. Hmmm…..
.-= Jon Prial´s last blog ..MomstoWork =-.

How do we ask about work and family arrangements in a job interview without revealing that we have kids or family commitments?

As someone who works full time (telecommute from a home) there is no boundary anymore between work and family.
Julie

Things are different in many places now, but I see the notion of “balance” becoming immensely complex. Sure, many companies have child care on site. And there’s telecommuting, flex time and job sharing. However, there’s also endless emails, Blackberries that are supposed to be on (and checked) 24/7, and a global marketplace just to name a few. I recently learned a female client has two Blackberries: one is for all the personal calls and email, the other for work calls and email. Furthermore, she sleeps – yes, sleeps – with the work Blackberry because they have clients in many foreign locations with varying time zones, and the company makes a product that is quite delicate and new – when employees or customers have questions, the answers can’t wait. Someone has to answer, and she’s the one. Aside from the obvious question of “Can’t this be shared?” (the answer is complex), to me it is one illustration of how balance for future generations is becoming a real conundrum. If the boundaries between “the work me” and “the non-work me” continue to soften, what will happen?

Why would men embrace work/life issues, when they’ve never been taught it was important? One generation ago some moms worked, most did not. Almost all moms did the housework. Now most moms work, some do not. And with that comes changes in who does what at home. In the next generation I would be surprised if any husband “expects” his wife will stay home and raise the children. I think they will absolutely understand it is a discussion with choices to be made by all. Not bad progress at all.

One of the inspirations I receive from Jon’s writing is that there are some men willing to be completely open about this. In my interviews, discussions and ongoing engagement with men in the work life balance conversation, my biggest challenge is having them go public. Really. “You can describe my situation, but don’t make it so specific that anyone will know it’s me.” Or, “I’ll say this, but I’ll use another name.” And these are younger men, who were raised with working mothers. So indeed, the generational shift required is monumental.

Valerie is so right about having a great partner and supportive marriage. Now the trick is to have these men who support their wives so avidly, do the same thing in their workplaces.

Finally, John, I love your thoughts on the terminology of balance. I use the term because it’s lingua franca of the discussion and because it represents to me and ebb and flow, cycles and seasons. I rarely think of it as a constant state. That would be boring. But nice on occasion.

Great post. Thanks so much.
.-= Chrysula Winegar´s last blog ..Work Life Stories: The Mother of Invention =-.

There has been a lot of chatter (witter?) about the appropriate word that can augment work-life. Balance isn’t wrong if people recognize it doesn’t have to be 50-50. But that doesn’t seem to happen. The other challenge is that the “right” ratio shifts – whether it is daily needs to at different points in one’s life or career. My company likes the term “work-life integration”.

In the meantime, let’s have more reverse cheers!
.-= Jon Prial´s last blog ..Work and Life – never separate anymore =-.

You always make us proud. We are happy to see you share with others the things that make for a good marriage, a good life and pass it on to the next generation.

Dad

The other great point Jonathan makes—it’s not about ‘even’ distribution of tasks—also resonates with our survey results. We’re now leading the Ban the Balance movement because so many successful ‘balancers’ said the image conjured by the word ‘balance’ made people think all life parts had to be equal. We like ‘life work flow’ but that doesn’t quite cut it! The #1 strategy for women ‘balancers’ was their mindset. And having flexibility, as Jonathan points out, was also vital. The free e-white paper with all the strategies is available at http://www.NewNorma.com – our not-for-profit research project.

So well done to the cheer squad of husbands and partners who understand the importance to women of being able to create their own businesses—and still have a life.
Valerie McDougall & Jayne Jennings