The sneer happened today. The  lip curl. The look of disdain.

"You are embarrassing me, Mom."

All I was doing was talking to some kids in the street. Asking questions. That was enough to make my sons cringe.

That made me reflect on all the things I want to do with my sons (twins who recently turned eight on Monday) while they're still young, sweet and receptive. Young and sweet enough to talk to their mother.

Like most working moms, I get bogged down in the day-to-day detritus of mothering: the paperwork, the notes to school, the lunches, the homework, the play dates, the tantrums and the fights over whether it's really necessary to wear a clean t-shirt every day or even change underpants on a regular basis.

Sometimes, it's hard to remember that our children will be grown and flown before we've even had time to do and discuss the important things that we hope as parents will prepare them for a happy and fruitful life.

What do I want to do with my sons before they grow too adolescent, moody, hormone-crazy and embarrassed by their ancient mom to listen?

1. Hold hands, more.
2. Teach them to stop picking their noses, at least in public.
3. Show them how much I love their dad even when I disagree with him.
4. Teach them to sit down in their chairs when they eat.
5. Make more time to hear their stories about Pokemon or Transformers.
6. Hear about who they love at school. Their views on relationships are lovely.
7. Get persuaded. They have taken to writing letters to me explaining why they need new games or books.
8. Teach them about money. We are hopeless.
9. Teach them to cook.
10. Teach them to pick up.
11. Do more gardening.
12. Let go enough that they can start exploring our neighborhood and walk to school without me.
13. Overcome their fears of dogs.
14. Buy a pet. See above. I am thinking chickens, but my neighbors have said that they've "endured a house of noisy twins and yelling."   Chickens is pushing the friendship. Enough already.
    
15. Fight with their dad over previous item. He doesn't want any pet. I want something. Every child should have a pet that is not a gerbil, a mouse or a guinea pig.
16. Show them the value of caring for others, whether it's cooking a meal, washing up or running an errand for an elderly neighbor.
17. Teach them how to buy fruit. Some men never master this art.
18. Work more on their pleases and thank yous.
19. Show them eye contact matters. Yes, you do need to look at people when you speak.
20. Perfect their back massages. Their partners of the future will thank me.
21. Get them to teach me maths.
22. Make sure they learn an instrument.
23. Encourage them to take more responsibility for their actions, whether it is putting on shoes, owning up to having thumped a kid on the bus or packing their back packs for school.
24. Kiss them again.
25. Kiss them again, in public.
26. Get them to go to bed sooner. Research shows kids who stay up late are at greater chance of suffering depression.
27. Work on my campaign to discourage them from driving until they are 44.
28. Do more to develop a love of cycling. See above.
29. Watch old musicals before they roll their eyes too much, such as, Singing in the Rain, Oliver and The Wizard of Oz.
30. Teach them how to sing rounds.
31. Show them a world beyond middle-class America.
32. Work harder at my pledge not to talk on my cell phone and drive. Sometimes, I lapse. It proves I am human.
33. Spend less time watching bad television and more time just hanging out.
34. Play more games with them.  Can't wait until they thrash me at Scrabble.
35. Do more jumping on the trampoline as a family. The most dangerous fun in suburbia.
36. Teach them how to body surf.
37. Show them why I love the surf and the waves of the beaches in Australia where we come. They're afraid.
38. Teach them never to go outside in summer without a hat or suntan lotion.  Slip, slap, slop ...
39. Learn to be more realistic. See above.
40. Give them more time to dawdle, daydream and doodle. They do it so beautifully when they have time.
41. Let them have enough time to be bored.
42. Teach them to use ancient implements, which us Aussies know as cutlery.
43. Remind them that I work full-time because I love work. Paid work. Remind that even though I don't go to an office every day (I work full-time from a home office ),  my work is as important as their dad's.
44. Encourage and reward them for independence of thought, yet ...
45. Teach them the value of work by moms (or dads.)
46. Remind them that, in nearly everything, mum knows best.
47. Show them that nothing is black and white.

What do you want to do? Please add to my list in the comments below.

Photo credit: Cute boy with down jacket in the park by Vanessa Hud, available via Flickr Creative Commons.

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