5 Things I Learned While My Kids Were Tugging at My Suitcase
Phaedra Cucina is a working mom advocate and the author of the acclaimed children’s book, My Mommy’s on a Business Trip.
In this guest blog post, she provides advice on how to put the best positive outlook on business travel that takes you away from your home and family.
Business trips are rough on kids. Yet they’re an almost inevitable part of a professional woman’s career.
A defining moment for me was when my oldest daughter was three. I had traveled for work since she was born, but for some reason, this day – this trip – was different. She wailed. She pounded her tiny fists on the floor. She braced her little body against the front door. She was very clear – I was leaving and she was mad. The worst part was that after many good-byes, when I finally had to leave or risked missing the plane, she followed me out my front door and onto the driveway, begging me not to go.
Standing on the porch, with my daughter back inside the house and the front door locked so she couldn’t follow me out again, I could still hear her crying. It broke my heart. I thought to myself that no child, or parent, should have to go through this.
When working moms travel, Teddy's company is always welcome, photo by Julie Power, MomstoWork.com
The guilt can be enormous, I have to admit, as is the stress of trying to balance what needs to happen while you’re gone along with the work you’re headed towards.
5 ways to make the trip easier for mom, easier on your kids
Here are some easy suggestions to make your next trip easier (emphasis on easy!):
- Pack Together – let your child/ren pick out a special stuffed animal or token you can take with you. One mom shared with me that her three-year old always pick out a special hair ribbon to tie on the suitcase, and it changes with every trip. BFF bracelets, or other special things that both you and the child will have while you’re gone, help them feel connected to you.
- Create a Ritual – if you’re gone often, ask the caretaker to do something with your kids that’s extra special and only happens when you’re away. It could be going to a special place or as simple as getting to sleep in sleeping bags on the living room floor.
- Pucker Up! – If you won’t be gone long, put on bright red lipstick and give the kids a great big kiss on their tummies – no one will know it’s there but them! Temporary tattoos work great for this, too – especially if you’re on a bigger trip. Put it on them as a special reminder of you.
- Call Early – So often it’s hard to catch the kids in the evening, with meetings running late or business dinners. Kids are often already asleep before you can make the call. Instead, call when the kids are just getting up. That’s when they’re in that lovey, snuggly mindset and you can start their day off with a smile. Kids won’t talk? Try reading them their favorite story (be sure to pack a copy of the book in your suitcase!)
- Capture Their Minds – You likely showed them where you were going before you left. Once back, don’t forget to share the fun – spend time talking about the famous or typical things you did in the area of the country/world where you were. Go over the maps again, pull out your camera, or bring home some postcards and really capture their imaginations.
Once the kids feel better about you being away, you’ll feel better. I’ve got a trip to Asia coming up in October and it will be during an especially stressful time for my family. To keep all of us sane, I will use these ideas. I’ll also focus on the silver lining – my nights of uninterrupted night’s sleep, that the kids and their dad get some important bonding time, and that I’m modeling for my kids how to handle a busy, successful career.
What’s critically important is that all of us as working parents remember to always position work in a positive light – not something that takes us away from our kids – as these young hearts and minds will eventually enter the workforce themselves one day.
Please share yours travel stories and tips here as well. I’m always amazed at how stories, and great ideas on how to make trips easier, pour out whenever I ask women how they feel about business travel. This is a topic women want and need to talk about, but rarely do.
About our guest blogger: Phaedra Cucina is a working mom advocate and the author of the acclaimed children’s book, My Mommy’s on a Business Trip, (Amazon) which is also available at: Mommytrip.com. You can follow her at @mommytrip.
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Filed Under: Featured • Work Family Balance • Working Moms Resources
About the Author: Julie Power is a writer and editor with experience in both the United States and Australia. After living in the United States for 16 years, she recently returned to live in Sydney with her husband and twin boys (9 years old).
Follow @juliepower
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Phaedra,
Your tips are great ways to meet the child’s needs: experience, power and connection, connection, connection! Special activities validate that things are different when Mom is gone; letting them choose the token is empowering and sends a little piece of them with you; and I especially love the connective tip of reading to the child on the phone. Phone conversations for little ones are often too abstract, but listening to a favorite book, now that’s something they can do. (Your book about being away on a business trip would be a perfect choice!)
I hope every working mom gets to read this post. Bravo!
.-= Sandy Blackard´s last blog ..When Nothing Works =-.
Phaedra,
What great ideas and so thoughtfully expressed. I really needed this as I, too, am travelling to Asia for 3 weeks later this fall.
I have felt so much stress about this trip, but now I feel much more at ease. I plan to send lots of pictures, and ask my son to tie a special ribbon on my suitcase — I am sure it will be either camouflage, or burnt orange in honor of the University of Texas Longhorn football team!
Take care and thanks for helping keep us all focused and sane with such grace and good humour.
Laura