13 reasons to sue if your kids aren’t Baby Einstein geniuses
News flash. If your kid is not a genius, here is a good reason why: Baby Einstein videos didn’t work as promised.
I’m bummed my children never watched Baby Einstein videos. As a slacker mom, I settled for Sesame Street and Dora. They were free and on TV.
If we’d shelled out for Baby Einstein videos, I could sue Walt Disney Co., the owners of the Baby Einstein video company, for my sons’ failure to:
- Compose a sonata by now
- Win the Nobel Prize for finding a cure to the common H1N1 virus
- Appreciate quality music. I feel it in my bones that my kids will hate opera, Van Morrison and classical music when they’re 16. I’d love to blame Uncle Walt for the family drama that is bound to erupt.
- Speak civilly to their mother when they are 14
- Get into Harvard Law
- Nail the difference between where and were
- Prefer organic chickpeas to pizza and chicken nuggets despite my home cooked meals
- Stop whining
- Stop bugging me, like right now when I am ignoring them
- Realize my computer really really doesn’t explode when it is used for kids’ games
- Hang their bags on the hook every day
- Pick up their toys, and
- Stop farting and laughing hysterically every time.
Of course, I’d also be richer. Walt Disney is refunding parents who bought the videos $16.95 after it was sued by the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood. Read more here.
P.S. I’m planning to sue Dora the Explorer becauses my kids’ Spanish is still rudimentary.
Photo: Courtesy flickr Creative Commons http://www.flickr.com/photos/29672763@N06/3489124074/
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Filed Under: Featured
About the Author: Julie Power is a writer and editor with experience in both the United States and Australia. After living in the United States for 16 years, she recently returned to live in Sydney with her husband and twin boys (9 years old).
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It’s interesting that you work in marketing and you think it’s fine for marketers to mislead parents. Disney can lie and if the parents believe the lie, it’s because the parents are dumb and they deserve.
I guess believing that makes it easier to sleep at night.
Dear Harris
I am sorry that I omitted the label: Humor.
I file expectations that Baby Einstein videos will make a child smarter with promises that I can eat all I want and STILL lose weight.
BTW, I don’t work in marketing, but I do write about it so if that’s made me unnecessarily cynical, I apologize.
Julie
I enjoyed your post immensely! It gave me a good laugh.
This reminds me of when McDonalds was sued for making people fat, or something like that. Its scary really. You can be sued for anything these days. Ultimately your common sense must prevail over a companies claim.
.-= Mindi – B.A. Bookworm´s last blog ..Simple Rewards =-.
Harris should lighten up. You could have found 20 reasons to sue and still be tired enough to sleep at night. Keep up the larfs luv.
I feel sorry for anyone who actually thought you were serious throughout that post. It was, after all, quite funny! I never read that much into the products I buy like that. We all do the best we can with our kids. What happens next? Well, we keep parenting; we wait and see where they land.
.-= KellieS´s last blog ..From Ice Cream to Green Beans and Brussels Sprouts! =-.
Surely, though, you believe that SOMEONE must go after companies that make outlandish claims?
If THIS one goes unchallenged, like back when Listerine said it prevented colds, you do realize that Disney would go forth and sell some inane “in utero” device to make your fetus a genius as well, etc., etc.
SOMEONE has to monitor and stop the snake oil salesmen – and if you don’t hit them in the pocketbook, a swat on the hand and a stern “Naughty, naughty!” really doesn’t serve to cease anything.
Agreed?
Well, off you go then, Val. Hit ‘em where it hurts or get in touch with your local congressman/woman and tell them to.
I love the humor here.
I find it sad that so many people will jump to believe what TV or advertising tells them. If anyone took the time to look for reviews on the Baby Einstein products before they made a purchase they would find that they help open a child’s mind to things like learning a foreign language, not have them speaking French fluently.
Bottom line, there is no substitution for the hard work of parenting.