Many moms have careers outside the home now, in various fields. It’s a tough job trying to balance both career and being a doting mom to our kids. I’m not saying it can’t be done, just that it’s not necessarily easy to achieve.



Along with the 9-5 expectations, often are the meetings, conferences, and extended hours to beat deadlines. It’s little difficult to explain to a young child that you might not make it to his baseball practice, or on time to help with homework. So, you do what you can to make sure your work is done during the normal hours.



However, there is another issue that comes up with working in the corporate world, which is travel. What do you do to balance your life if you spend a large portion of it traveling for your job? If you are looking for ideas to keep your family life intact while gone, then read on for some tips on how to do fun ‘mommy activities’ and bonding time, even when you are away.



1. Webcams Are a Blessing for Traveling Moms

 Use webcam technology whenever you can, so the kids can see you, as well as hear you. Young children will be excited to connect with you when you can see each other face to face, more so than by phone only.

You can use this time to be silly and make them giggle, which will lead to wanting to connect with you more often. I know many young children love their parents and grandparents, but talking on the phone without visuals seem to bore them quickly.



2. Bring Something Back with You 

Kids love souvenirs, no matter how little it may be, or inexpensive. They will just be thrilled to open something new and know that you were thinking of them while gone. You could use this opportunity to start a collection of some for them, such as postcards, t-shirts, or even Christmas ornaments.



3. Call Early 

Make sure to call early enough that they will remember you calling. If they are too sleepy, they will wake in the morning, wondering why you didn’t call. As I mentioned it earlier, you can tie it in with reading them a bedtime story, after they are in their jammies and ready for bed.



4. Create a Children’s Calendar

 By creating a calendar for the children, they can mark off the days until you come home, getting them more and more excited each day. Other events can be planned on this as well, but I suggest that you make it a calendar for them only.

Have your spouse get involved with helping them to mark each day off, and talk about your return and what it means to them.



5. Plan Activities for Them

 Create activities for them to play while you are gone. However, make sure they know that you created this for them. The caregiver, whether it’s a babysitter or your spouse, can help to let them know it was done before you left and specifically for them.



Things you can plan…


·        Scavenger Hunt

·        Craft Kits that you put together specifically for them

·        Bingo, with cards designed around the family

·        Pictionary



Some of these you can be involved as well, with the use of the webcam. For example, have the scavenger hunt end with a book to be read at bedtime. Bingo and Pictionary can also be played with you over the webcam.



6. Pack Together

 If they help you pack, you could ask them to give you something to sleep with at night. You could return the favor and let them sleep in one of your t-shirts while away. Make sure to dab a little of your cologne on it before you leave…as long as they don’t have allergies. This will create a physical connection while you are gone.



7. Get the Kids Involved in the Pickup 

If you are traveling by plane, have the kids in the car when you are picked up from the airport…when possible. I realize that sometimes the time might not be convenient, or even possible. It also isn’t as convenient as parking your car long term and just driving home, but will be worth it.



However, if the kids can be in the car, or at the luggage pickup, their enthusiasm of seeing you come home will be contagious, as well as they might feel they played a role in getting you home. The ride home can be a great time to catch up on things that you haven’t discussed while they are away.



Hopefully I have shared some ideas to make your traveling more tolerable. You can also use some of this travel time to catch up on a little ‘me time’. Download some good reading for yourself on your ebook reader, draw up a bubble bath, and relax while you can.



ABOUT THE AUTHOR 

Lei Chidester is a full-time Internet Marketer and the Editor for http://ereaderguide.org. She is an avid reader and enjoys reading on her Kindle Fire ereader on self-help, health and healing.



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photo credit: carianoff

Are you a mom who is thinking about going back to work? Are you looking for a new family friendly job? Or are you curious about career development? On MomsToWork, we write about women and work, and we realize that job boards are just one tool to be used during a job search. In this vein, MomsToWork has partnered with Simply Hired to bring you a Job Board that fits your needs as a working mom.

On the MomsToWork Job Board we feature:

Family Friendly Jobs, Flexible Jobs, Working Mother Jobs, Telecommute Jobs, Virtual Office Jobs, Hourly Jobs and more.

If you’re an employer, you can post a job on the MomstoWork Job Board and reach an audience of talented, entrepreneurial women.

Let us know what you think!

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Slobfestival with Debbie Wiener

Slobproof book giveaway plus freebies and furniture

Are you a slob?

I am. As a busy working mom with two kids, a full-time job, a healthy interest in socializing, reading, exercising, cooking and blogging, something has to give. That big horrifying Halloweenish thing is The Housework.

When I first heard The Slob Queen, as I call interior decorator and furniture designer,  Debbie Wiener on NPR about a year ago talking about slob-proofing, she made me laugh. A lot. So much I nearly made a sweet little mess of my own. She could’ve been talking about my family.  Sometimes we eat messy stuff on a beige couch. (There are times when I like my family more than the couch and vice versa. About 50/50 really.)

Queen Debbie figures you can’t change your family, as hard as you may try, but you can change the way you decorate, choose and arrange furniture to camouflage the mess.

That’s my kind of advice: tips from a queen that who acknowledges how real people live. Let them eat … well, er, dirt, says Queen Debbie. Or spaghetti or ghoulash or whatever they like.

We’re giving away two copies of Debbie’s best-selling interior design book “Slobproof!: Real Life Design Solutions” in what I call the Festival of Sofas Stained with DON’T-YOU-DARE- EAT-THAT-ON MY COUCH >>> OOPS TOO LATE.

But there is a catch. A neat and tidy catch. Not slobby at all.

All you have to do is enter a comment below with your best (or your saddest or least effective. We don’t judge much here at MomstoWork.com) slob proofing tip or idea. Perhaps you aren’t a slob but your kids and spouse are horrible messy creatures.

It doesn’t matter … how do you cope?

You have until Thursday 4 p.m. E.S.T to add your comment. We’ll announce the winners on Thursday evening when the festival of slobbiness has reached its nastiest, messiest nadir.

Of course, if you are a slobby mommy you’ll fit in around here. How do you know if you are one?

Look around your desk, and count the number of empty coffee cups.

I average about three.

What about your lounge room? How many toys, socks, shoes, old bits of paper and tissues do you find hidden behind the couch? I am embarrassed to tell you. How many junk drawers do you have?

What about your car, your handbag, your underwear drawer?  The other day a friend hopped in our car, saw an old McDonald’s hamburger and ate it, presuming it was fresh and nice. When I told him it was three days old, he felt like throwing up. He didn’t.

See what other moms and dads say here by taking TheSkinnyScoop survey on this page.

You can also win Slobproof stainproof furniture (made with Cryptonite to withstand even Superman’s mess) and other stuff by taking part in the slobby, revolting online festival being hosted by Queen Debbie and the color expert Sonu Mathews from Benjamin Moore.

How to win stuff, books and even furniture, in the festival of slobbiness

To throw some dirt around, join Sonu, Queen Debbie and the lovely and not so slobby DC interior designer of Real Simple fame, Annie Elliott, aka Twitter’s BossyColor, by participating in a Twitter party on Thursday, October 28, at 3:00 p.m.

To get messy: use the hashtag #slobproof on Twitter. They’ll be giving away even more goodies, including books and furniture. So if you “like”  the Slobproof fan page and leave a comment with your Twitter handle, you’ll be eligible to win.

So start messing up in the comments below to win a book.

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What I liked about this video from Marriott, to mark its inclusion in the Working Mother Magazine top 100 list, was the way Peggy Fang Roe, VP, Marriott International, was so excited about being pregnant with her second child:

“It is place where you can openly be excited that you are pregnant, expecting a baby, you can talk about it when you talk about your career path. It is not something you have to hide.”

From speaking to many friends with senior jobs in corporate America, it’s not always the way. They often hide their growing tummies for months, and are reluctant to divulge that they’ll be having a child for fear that they’ll be excluded or baby-bumped out of the board room.

Marriott seems to be a company that practices what it preaches when it comes to working moms.

Worth the juggle! My super cute twin boys

Working Mother’s includes these stats on the number of women at Marriott who are:

• Women managers, senior managers and corporate execs make up 50%
• Women among top earners 54%
• Women on board of directors 18%
• Women corporate executive hires in 2009 20%
• Women participating in management or leadership training in the past year* 15%
• Women promoted last year who utilized a formal flexible work arrangement 85%
• Do formal compensation policies reward managers who help women advance? Yes.

Click: Working Mother 100 list of BestCompanies

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Working woman

If you are a stay-at-home (SAHM) mom thinking about going back to work,  or a working mom or dad trying to switch jobs, add the
2010 Working Mother 100 Best Companies list to your research.

It gives a description of each company’s policies, the number of women among top earners, etc.  Each profile includes an interesting clue to each company’s work life policy. For example, 80% of American Express managers received training last year on how to supervise employees with flexible work arrangements.

Even if you don’t end up working or interviewing at one of these companies, the descriptions and judging criteria used by Working Mother magazine are great tools to judge  a potential employer.

Here are some of the best companies at helping families and women achieve work-life balance:

Bank of America

“The bank stays modern by allowing its employees to define how they work.”

Deloitte

Has a new sabbatical program that grants employees four unpaid weeks off to do anything they like.

Discovery Communications

Moms cherish this media company’s family-friendly atmosphere. If they have a baby, they can take nine fully paid weeks off to bond.

Ernst & Young

“With 75% of its employees working out of client offices, this professional services firm offers scheduling freedom to those who pursue it.”

General Mills

“Moms head five of the seven U.S. retail divisions of this food manufacturing company.”

IBM

Give real help to employees whose children have mental, physical or developmental issues.

KPMG

After the birth or adoption of a child, employees may take 26 job guaranteed weeks off, with 12 weeks partially paid for moms and eight weeks fully paid for primary adoptive caregivers, who are…

PricewaterhouseCoopers

University of Wisconsin Hospital and Clinics

Investing in its people is a priority for this academic medical center, which last year spent $1.6 million on tuition to help employees pursue certifications and academic degrees.

For more details, read Working Mother’s entire list of the top 100.

Photo credit: Mariela de Marchi via Flickr Creative Commons.

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Phaedra Cucina is a working mom advocate and the author of the  acclaimed children’s book, My Mommy’s on a Business Trip.

In this guest blog post, she provides advice on how to put the best positive outlook on business travel that takes you away from your home and family.

Business trips are rough on kids.  Yet they’re an almost inevitable part of a professional woman’s career.

A defining moment for me was when my oldest daughter was three.  I had traveled for work since she was born, but for some reason, this day – this trip – was different.  She wailed.  She pounded her tiny fists on the floor.  She braced her little body against the front door.  She was very clear – I was leaving and she was mad.  The worst part was that after many good-byes, when I finally had to leave or risked missing the plane, she followed me out my front door and onto the driveway, begging me not to go.

Standing on the porch, with my daughter back inside the house and the front door locked so she couldn’t follow me out again, I could still hear her crying.  It broke my heart.  I thought to myself that no child, or parent, should have to go through this.

When working moms travel, Teddy's company is always welcome, photo by Julie Power, MomstoWork.com

The guilt can be enormous, I have to admit, as is the stress of trying to balance what needs to happen while you’re gone along with the work you’re headed towards.

5 ways to make the trip easier for mom, easier on your kids

Here are some easy suggestions to make your next trip easier (emphasis on easy!):

1. Pack Together – let your child/ren pick out a special stuffed animal or token you can take with you.  One mom shared with me that her three-year old always pick out a special hair ribbon to tie on the suitcase, and it changes with every trip.  BFF bracelets, or other special things that both you and the child will have while you’re gone, help them feel connected to you.
2. Create a Ritual – if you’re gone often, ask the caretaker to do something with your kids that’s extra special and only happens when you’re away.  It could be going to a special place or as simple as getting to sleep in sleeping bags on the living room floor.
3. Pucker Up! – If you won’t be gone long, put on bright red lipstick and give the kids a great big kiss on their tummies – no one will know it’s there but them!  Temporary tattoos work great for this, too – especially if you’re on a bigger trip.  Put it on them as a special reminder of you.
4. Call Early – So often it’s hard to catch the kids in the evening, with meetings running late or business dinners.  Kids are often already asleep before you can make the call.  Instead, call when the kids are just getting up.  That’s when they’re in that lovey, snuggly mindset and you can start their day off with a smile.   Kids won’t talk? Try reading them their favorite story (be sure to pack a copy of the book in your suitcase!)
5. Capture Their Minds – You likely showed them where you were going before you left.  Once back, don’t forget to share the fun – spend time talking about the famous or typical things you did in the area of the country/world where you were.  Go over the maps again, pull out your camera, or bring home some postcards and really capture their imaginations.

Once the kids feel better about you being away, you’ll feel better.  I’ve got a trip to Asia coming up in October and it will be during an especially stressful time for my family.  To keep all of us sane, I will use these ideas. I’ll also focus on the silver lining – my nights of uninterrupted night’s sleep, that the kids and their dad get some important bonding time, and that I’m modeling for my kids how to handle a busy, successful career.

What’s critically important is that all of us as working parents remember to always position work in a positive light – not something that takes us away from our kids – as these young hearts and minds will eventually enter the workforce themselves one day.

Please share yours travel stories and tips here as well.  I’m always amazed at how stories, and great ideas on how to make trips easier, pour out whenever I ask women how they feel about business travel.  This is a topic women want and need to talk about, but rarely do.

About our guest blogger: Phaedra Cucina is a working mom advocate and the author of the acclaimed children’s book, My Mommy’s on a Business Trip, (Amazon) which is also available at: Mommytrip.com.  You can follow her at @mommytrip.

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Guest blogger Susan K. Finston gives her take on working mom guilt. We try so hard to be the “perfect mom”  that we sometimes forget how much others appreciate our beautiful domestic dance, no matter how flawed and how guilty we feel at not doing everything perfectly:

A lifetime ago before I was a mother, I found myself working in London at one of the largest U.S. Consular Sections in the world, where nearly the entire first floor of what had been designed as an open plan modern building had been chopped up to accommodate a virtual factory for visa and passport services.

Despite the seemingly unending visa line, I really had nothing to complain about:  I was young, healthy, newly engaged to be married, and living in London.

At the U.S. Embassy in London I met a lot of interesting people who had lived and worked all over the world, among them someone who introduced another cliché of the State Department when he joked about running away with the “Foreign Circus.”

This proved an apt description on many levels, and in fact triggered a dream that I had early on in my London tour that has haunted me over the years, in a good way.

I have seldom had a more vivid dream.

In my dream, this same senior colleague, who I probably now would not even recognize, was part of a parade of circus performers and animals, including a dancing bear in a tutu; the classic image of the dancing bear.

I will never forget the way that he said, when I asked him what he was doing, that he was on tour with the Foreign Circus.

Most of all, I remember that the bear seemed so joyous to be dancing, so pleased with its own performance.

And in fact when we see a dancing bear, in a tutu or otherwise, we don’t focus on the precision of its ballet or tap steps.  We do not complain or criticize the way it is dancing.

No, we are impressed, and rightly so, with the effort of dancing itself, and the happiness that the bear reflects in its achievement.

That has been the lesson that I think my dream has been trying to teach me, and that has been so hard for me to hold onto in my waking hours.

So much of the time we struggle against reality to achieve a perfection that we think is required, when in fact we may be the only ones watching our own performance with an unforgiving eye.

Being the Dancing Bear means accepting our own humanity, embracing our own imperfections, and enjoying the dance anyway.

Our kids, our spouses and our friends don’t think we are perfect and they love us anyway.

So why rush to embrace guilt over not being the perfect mother, wife or whatever?

Instead, be the Dancing Bear.  It is good enough that we are still dancing.

This is not without effort; I have been working on it now through nearly 21 years of marriage, raising two children (one with special needs), and three careers, and sometimes I totally forget that I want to be the Dancing Bear.

Then I think of my dream and the memory makes me smile.

Be the Dancing Bear!

About: Susan Kling Finston is a wife, mother of two and popcorn whisperer living in Washington DC.  In her professional life, Susan consults for life sciences companies ranging in size from from start-ups to Fortune 100, providing strategic matchmaking, business development, other ‘doing business’ and policy advice.  She also works with international organizations, governments and trade associations on issues including intellectual property (IP) protection, technology transfer, Access and Benefit Sharing (ABS) and related capacity building materials and programs.  For more information see Finstonconsulting.com.  Follow her at:  Twitter.com/skfinston

Photo: Young girl jumping on a trampoline at the Sarasota High School Sailor Circus via Flickr.com Creative Commons License.

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Very Quick Update

Leanne Clark responded to my post, Now I’m Making my kids fat,” by tweeting: Can’t we stop beating up on moms? Dads work, too! RT @MomsToWork And now I’m making my kids fat by working, says study. ”

She’s right.

Why don’t we see headlines like this?

Working Dads Make Kids Sick: Children of Dads with flexible work hours are healthier and happier.

You can read more from  Leanne Clark on working mom guilt and challenging stereotypes at Careerlifeconnection.com

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• We Interrupt This Parenting Moment To Bring You a Moment Of Guilt

I loved our guest bloggers’ post about guilt being like our pelvic floor… deep, dark and hidden until after we have kids. And it made me think about my own guilt …

My guiltiest mom moments

Mother guilt is like a TV ad: It interrupts my regularly scheduled programming at defined intervals in an annoying and invasive way.

And like a TV ad, the volume of the guilty ads is much LOUDER than my regular programming.

These guilty ads appear like clockwork at these times:

When my kids are sick. Or even malingering. Take today. One of my sons grumbled this morning about feeling a little sick and my plans flew out the window. I can’t cope with the idea of sending him to school when he’s feeling bad. #FAIL. Of course, 10 minutes later he looks okay and is definitely resisting efforts to stay in bed. Now he’s watching television and I am writing. TV!!!!????? #FAIL

And now a word from our detractors…

When my kids do something wrong.Take the watch that makes me sick. A blue and orange Gap watch came home mysteriously in a school bag three weeks ago. It was “given” to one of my sons, who could not remember the name of the child who generously parted with this expensive gift. After some discussion, a polite word for what really happened, the watch disappeared, only to be found buried under a pile of winter hats. Did my son steal the watch? Is he heading for a life of crime? Have I been stern enough about the watch? What happened to the kid who lost the watch? Is he in trouble with his parents? (I know, I know, I should’ve been tougher when my son nicked candy at CVS when he was three and escaped without apprehension until it was too late, and we were miles away, for us to force him to return it.)

Nobody’s missing the watch. There it sits, on our sideboard, a big orange guilty reminder of my failure to teach my children about valuing other people’s possessions. #FAIL.

The watch joins other things in my life that make me feel guilty. The clothes that were always too small, the expensive CD and book of educational poetry for the kids that they’ve refused to listen to once, the interesting foods that we’ve never eaten, the garage full of junk…and the endless piles of worthy books (Toni Morrison’s Jazz, for example) that should’ve been read but were neglected for yet another murder mystery (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Fun!!) or another episode of Project Runway. #FAIL

During school vacations. This is the worst for me. Read my post about how I feel bad working during the summer and “forcing” my children to go to camps.

Gap watch of Mom guilt

When I have to go away for work. I feel bad that my spouse has to cope alone. I do note that he presumes I’m capable enough to cope when he has to work from 6 a.m until midnight for weeks in a row, not seeing any of us. Maybe I should do the same… #FAIL.

When I do the occasional, very indulgent thing, like getting a haircut when I should be doing educational or worthy activities with my children. #FAIL.

If only I could TiVo my life to skip the guilty ads we’d all be so much happier.

In the meantime, let’s say no to unnecessary and unwarranted guilt!!!!

Start by singing our MomstoWork NO to Guilt song .. It is silly but we loved making it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52S-UudcVnE

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